A Visit with Aunt Virginia

                




   Yesterday I paid a visit to Uncle Lavon and Aunt Virginia at the hospital. I have not been able to go for various reasons during his stay there. We, cousins,all know how sick he has been and still is. I tried to mentally prepare myself for what I would see and say. I knew I was going to say goodbye to one of the Greatest Men. Greatest meaning, the Greatest Generation, but also one of those rare great men. I cried a few times before going to the hospital. I was dreading it because it's the same hospital where Daddy had his kidney surgery,and yes, I was taken back to then. 
               I let our cousin Henry Steve know via text I was going and if I could tell him anything. When I got up to the floor, I could see Aunt V sitting in his room. I lost it. I'm not sure just why I was dreading this visit, the emotions caught me by surprise. So, I text Henry Steve again telling him I was upset. He sent some comforting words, and I gathered myself.
                    When I walked in to the large room, I was literally stunned by what I saw. I saw a frail human being with tubes and cords,and monitors saying yes, he is still alive. My heart sunk when I saw her holding his hand,like a life line to each other. He was still,but his mouth was moving, neither of us knew if he was sleeping. We moved to the side of the room, where there is a chair and cot. She told me that Gina,Elaine,Jeremy,and Joseph have been staying there at night,so she can go home. Then she began to talk. Not in that way we all remember her sitting at the table at Memaw's {Aunt Sue} house on holidays. This was more, to me, reflections of a wise woman. I sat and listened. She told me that the Sister's {as I call them} have all been. That June had come every day during her visit and that she felt so bad about having to return back to Seattle. Aunt V said she reassured June to go and live and take care of things she had to do. There is nothing she can do here in Memphis. I think Aunt V felt worse for June than about anybody, b/c she lives so far away. 
                   We talked and talked. I asked her questions about the past, it was easier than thinking about just why I was there, and not looking to my left to see our uncle laying there. I asked her why she and Lavon got married. She told me,very frankly, that once she graduated 8th grade it was just what you did. In the country there was really nothing else to do. They married when she was 15,and have been married 71 years. I didn't realize it had been that long. She said they take care of each other. That it's always been that way. When she's been sick, he has literally lifted her up and taken care of her in ways that husbands take care of their wives. When it was he who was sick,she has done the same. This time, she can't take care of him like they have each other. It worries her. 
                She talked about the war. WW2. She said when he went to GA and passed all his requirements, he got ready to go to Italy. She told me that Donna was sick in the hospital in Memphis. When she got released, he came to see them,and he left for war. She said she just packed up and went home for the duration. She went to stay with her parents. Her Mama had a baby too, her sister, Lola. She said her Mama would take to the fields and she took care of the babies. She said with complete clarity ,brought a tear to my eye thinking of her a young bride, that she would sit on a swing with them and read. She said they would fall asleep and she was stuck sitting there with them. I could almost see her,young, swinging in the heat while her husband was overseas. She said that the daughter in-laws would descend on Granny's house at the same time. The three of them. Martha, her , and Opal. they would all stay a while and play with the kids, {meaning Sue, Martha,Jimmy,and baby June}. There was always plenty of food and fun. She told me Opal would bring candy and hide it in her suitcase and eat it in her room. That one tickled me. She said Opal didn't have any kids then. She said that Howard was Church of Christ as a kid,but when he married Opal,he became Baptist. That was something I didn't know. She said really quick that so long as you go to church, and you are comfortable where you go, then that's all that matters.
                I asked her what her favorite food that Granny cooked was. She smiled, & thought about it for a minute. She said, well, everything! She said at Christmas Granny would have pies piled high everywhere. Her apple pie was probably her favorite. I told her then that I have one of Grannies skillets and its one of my prize possesions. She said she's always loved to cook too. I told her that my favorite was her coconut cake. She said she always enjoyed making them too,but its someone else's turn. I told her I understood that b/c for years I've done the dressing making and various other things for Thanksgiving at Memaws house. I explained to her that the last few years its been difficult b/c my family members seem to only die around that time. I told her that not to worry about someone making her cake, they will. I also told her that when my Memaw is gone, not to worry about Thanksgiving gatherings either. I hope that instead of family gathering in Ms at her house yall will come to mine. Its a role Sue has been preparing me for all my life. 
   She told me about Louella Holden. Max Holden's mother. She said that she would come stay with Lavon and them,and Aunt V would go stay with her too. I thought that was interesting b/c it brought to life a name on our family tree. She truly loved her and I assume it was totally mutual too. I said I was familiar with that name b/c Aunt Mary is her name sake. I told her that when Sue Wooten died, Jared and Becca had recently found out they were having another baby. They and Vivian and me went and grabbed supper after Sue's visitation. I told them they could name the baby whatever they wanted but Ella. I intended on having a girl one day, name her Elizabeth and call her Ella. They looked at each other in that married people unspoken language. I knew they had planned to name the baby that.  At the time,they didn't know it was Aunt Mary's middle name, {which she HATES,btw,lol}. Things worked out ,they have Ella and I have Caleb. She didn't know that, but made her smile. 
   Then the conversation changed to Uncle Lavon's condition. She told me that 2 days ago he was smiling and kinda talking to everyone when they came in. He knows everybody and communicates best he can. I came on a bad day. Then she brought up Daddy. Then came my waterworks again. {I'm doing much better, but I was talking to someone who knew and loved him his whole life,so its different}. She said when she got the call he had died, she really didn't understand what someone told her. She got confused then completely shocked. Not Tim she said. So many of us have said the same thing. { I am not saying this to take away from the children our Greats have buried or spouses, I'm talking specifically about my Daddy}. She spoke about how he would always come see them when they came to Memaw's and rarely missed a visit, and always brought food. She really enjoyed his cooking. I told her my version of that morning. How I'd gotten up at 5:30, super uneasy about him. How I told Josh that I knew something was wrong and that I didn't think my Daddy would live through all the treatments ahead of him. {I said that based on the fact of the first cousins of his that had not beaten cancer. Thinking of Sue Wooten and Judy Patrick. I'm a pessimist about cancer,for obvious reasons}. I told her I'd put on a pan of soup to take to him. Then I got the call that forever changed my life. She teared up. I told her I didn't want to talk too much about it,as to take away from this point of the visit, but she smiled and nodded, so I kept talking. I told her how everyone was in such a daze. How nobody knew just what to do. So I told her that I was the one who called the pall bearers, I picked his clothes,and most of the songs that were sung. That I was afraid to step on Teresas toes or over step. But she was in no shape. That I did that for him. Then I fell apart 8 weeks later. She patted my hand. She told me she and Lavon had to do the same thing when her son in law Wallace died. She said she hates to see Lavon suffering like he is. That he has good days and bad, but living like he is is no way to live. It's killing her b/c this is not something she can help him up with and take care of him about. I can't even imagine how she feels.
    She has not been well even before he got so sick, has been to the Dr. and even in the hospital during his illness. She does know that she can't spend every waking minute there, and is so glad her kids and grandkids are taking shifts. She told me that Jeremy is staying with her. I'm so glad they are doing this, and I can understand how difficult this time is right now for them. 
    He got to kind of opening his eyes and moving around, so we got up and walked to the bedside. She on one side and me on the other. She leaned over and told him I was there. He turned his head and looked at me. He knew me yall. At 90,our so frail and sick uncle knew me. I told him I'd just come to see about them,and sorry it had taken me so long to finally come. He squeezed me hand when I was talking to him. Richard and Henry Steve had asked me to send him love, and I did that. He blinked several times right at me, so I know he got the message. Then I did what I told Gina I wouldn't. I started crying. I leaned over and kissed his head twice. When I did he held my hand tighter. That made me cry more. So I said kind of quick that I had to go. I needed to grocery shop before going home. I told him I loved him one more time, and he squeezed my hand again. I hugged Aunt V, and left.  I went to the ladies room and just cried and cried. I text Henry Steve some of the visit, told him I felt so bad for crying at the end like I did. He assured me I had done the right thing by visiting. 


   I know this post is very macabre, but I know I was saying goodbye. It is not tragic for a 90 year old christian man to die. His reward is waiting for him. What to me is the worst part in all this is he's so sick. Has his good days and bad. When he goes, it will leave a hole in our family. It will affect us all, but esp Aunt V, Gina, Elaine, Chris, Jeremy, Joseph and Holden. I had that he is suffering, and for Aunt V's sake, I wish she could take it away for him. 


I know the conversation rambled, but I told it like it happened in real time. I know Uncle Lavon has not passed away yet, but one way or the other, I wish his suffering to be over.

Recipes

Today,though it is super hot, I made a pot of veg. beef soup, a pan of cornbread, and a chocolate cake! Here are the recipes.

Soup:
1 beef roast,or steak of any cut, about 2lbs, cubed into bite size pieces
1/2 cup plain flour
1 large onion
2 Tbsp minced garlic
2 cans tomato's
1 can green beans
1 cup carrotts
1 cup corn
1 cup black eyed peas
1/2 cup chopped celery
1/2 cup frozen english peas
2 or more med to large potato's diced.
Salt,pepper,dash sugar,herbs you like,I used thyme and some italian seasoning,and parsley

OR ANY other veggies you have on hand that you like. I usually save the last few bites of leftovers from a meal and put it in a zippy bag in the freezer and add to it,as I go.When the bag is full or half way, Just throw that mix in there too.




Heat your stock pot with a couple of glugs of oil,be it olive oil or canola or even soybean.
When the pot is super hot,
add the floured cubes of beef, brown till almost done.
Remove from pot
add another glug of oil and add diced onion to the pot.cook on med heat about 5 minutes,then add the garlic,cook another few minutes.
Add meat back to pot
Add tomato's,with juice. the juice deglazes the stuck yummy stuff from the flour on the bottom of the pan.

Then add your other veggies,except green peas and potato's.

add salt and pepper and dried herbs.

Using one of your empty veggie can's fill it up about 3 times with hot water,and add to the pot.leave heat on medium and cover,leaving the lid cocked open so steam can escape.

Cook about 2 hrs,stirring once in a while. If it needs more water,add it then.

After 2 hrs add potato's and peas, turn heat to low,and cook another hr.

Taste. If it needs something,like salt or seasonings,add it now.If there is not enough water,add some more,and let it simmer a wee bit more.

Then enjoy!!! This soup freezes well,and taste even better the 2nd day!


Southern Cornbread:
Preheat your oven to at least 400 or higher.

2 cups self rising corn meal
1/4 cup SR flour
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 cup cooking oil
scant tsp. sugar

Mix all your ingredients in a bowl with a fork. If its too thick add a splash of oil and a few splashes of milk till its kind of runny,but not thin.
let it set for a few minutes.In the mean time,grab a can of crisco shortening,a paper towel and your iron skillett. For this Im using Grannys!
wipe a big dollop of crisco onto the paper towel. Run the paper towel around the edges and bottom of your COLD skillett. Make a nice layer of crisco.
* My Aunt Mary {Granny's oldest daughter} taught my Memaw this trick,and it NEVER fails.

Pour batter into the skillett, bake for at least 25 minutes,or until the top is golden.

Remove from skillett to a plate. Cut it and slather on some butter!




Chocolate Cake!

1 DUNCAN HINES chocolate cake mix,any variety.{I used Swiss Chocolate today}
1 cup water
1/3 cup cold coffee {use whats left over in the pot from the morning coffee}
3 eggs
1/3 c. oil

Bake following box directions. I used 2 round cake pans/


Chocolate Coffee Buttercream:
1 stick unsalted butter,room temp
1/2 cup shortening, {I only use Crisco or Richtex brand}
1 tsp vanilla
1/3 cup coco powder
4 cups powdered sugar,more or less,depending on how thick or how much icing you want.
splashes of coffee


*Cream butter and shortening.
add vanilla, cream well,
begin to slowly add powdered sugar,then splashes of coffee till smooth and creamy.
Once the icing is mixed, whip on high speed till light brown and airy.
Ice cake,and enjoy!!!
* To me,this taste like a Fudge round!


Thats all for today! Caleb and I found a cucumber in the garden today that was ready to pick!!! We picked and enjoyed it!

How Does the Garden Grow?

I've decided to tie my new garden in with this new blog. A fresh start,if you will....


This is the first year my husband and I have ever had our own garden. Its not big,grand,or even neatly planted. We had our helpers,our boys,down there with us the day we put cheap dollar store seeds in the dirt. Seems like the praying I did when when we planted is paying off. So far that is! Everything we planted from seeds has sprouted up! There are english peas,squash,cucumbers,watermellon,lettuce,beets,and carrots down under our hill.


Not to over excite myself,I dont check it everyday,thinking that a watched pot never boils,well,a watched garden wont grow. Now,though,since everything has sprouted and actually turned into plants,Im thinking of checking every other day. I say this beacause 3 days ago,I was working in it,planting tomato's. I talked to the little plants in an attempt to coax veggies out of them. As I was headed back up I noticed something in the twilight. Low and behold a BLOOM! A bloom on the cucumber vine! The peas had already been blooming,and yes,happy dancing commenced. Well,yesterday,Caleb,4,and I walked down there to check on the replanted tomato's. There were over a dozen yellow blooms on all the cucumber plants!!! I was on the phone with my Step Mother,and she could hear the giddines in my voice! It was like a suprise from God! Then Caleb and I watered everything,as its been super dry and hot here. Then as we were watering,I noticed PODS on the pea vines!!! Little green pods,still with drying blooms attached to the end of them!!! I was giggling happy! I popped one off,and opened it up,and Caleb and I ate a fresh green pea,there on the spot. I think my happiness was contagious! He too was jumping up and down,and said he had never eaten a pea that was SO yummy before! Made me proud,to be sure.

....But, there is a battle going on down the hill. Me against the tomato's! Me against Nature,and varmits,and the like!!! Last Sunday,I began to plant my 20 odd tomato plants. We bought plants,vs starting seeds with the tomato's. I dug a bunch of little holes,added some homemade fertilzer made with coffee grounds and crushed up egg shells. {I read somewhere that tomato's like acid,and coffee is acid}. I didnt dig very big holes,nor plant them very deep. Last Sunday was the hottest day of the year so far,and I got over heated! I planted half of them,and came in to cool off. I was sweating out every cell of my body! I was panting like a dog who had won at the track, I was HOT! So I drank 2 glasses of water,and resigned myself to have a go at it one more time,b/c I still had 9 tomato plants to get in the dirt! Well,I got 6 in the ground before I began to feel bile rising up in my throat! I staggered,literally!, up the hill and into the house. I felt miserable,and then the vomitting began! I have NEVER gotten so over heated,to the point of puking in my life! Im the one who hates days below 70 degree's here,and Its 80 now,and Im drinking coffee! Well,I didnt go back outside after that,for about 2 days. I felt awful. But I knew the plants needed watering,and I wanted to check on them.


I get down the hill,and noticed something very wrong! ALL,save one,plant had been DUG UP,by some varmit!!! I was so mad! I began spewing profanity,and threw me a good ole hissy fit,right there!!! Then,I called my MIL. I asked if it was too late to replant tomato's and proceded in good Redneck fashion to explain to her what happend to my plants! The very ones that almost caused a heat stroke! She was confused at first,she told me in all her years of gardening nothing had ever come along and DUG up tomato's. Maybe eating them off the vine,sure,but not digging them up. I thought to my self, well,if it can,it will,go wrong. So she told me not to go out and buy more plants. She and Nanny {my GM.IL} had plenty extra,from a seed pack Nanny had begun in her living room. So Caleb and I run over there to get said plants. MIL and GMIL were working in the big garden. So I offered a hand,thinking I could learn something! Well,I sure did. I learned that I had gone about my tomato's totally WRONG!!! They too were needing more planted. So they dug holes,and I began placing the small shoots of plants. The holes they dug were massive! I was confused. I asked how deep the shoots need to be planted. MIL told me to the bottom,of the bottom leaves. That ment 6 or more inches of the plants would be in the dirt. HMMM,I thought. I had only scraped away enough dirt to fit the starter dirt in the hole. With all the seeds we had planted,you just had to sow them 1/2 and inch or 1/4 inch deep. basically putting them on the ground and covering with loose soil. Except the cucumbers and squash.You have to make a small hill,but you plant them similar in the top of the mound. Ok,Lesson learned. I was proud that I got to help them,and happy to learn something new!


We get home,about dark,and I commenced to digging holes,and setting my new {free} plants in the dirt. I dug em deep and firmly packed soil around the small plants. I think it was about a dozen. But didnt water them.My waterhose is not long enough to reach that far,and I didnt know where another section of hose was. So the next evening,Thursday,Josh found the hose,and watered. Last night during all my glee,I did have some blahness too. The new plants,except maybe 3 had shrivled up! I had done what I was supposed to,dug em deep,didnt put any homemade fertilzer in the holes,ALL of that! But last evening it looked like only 2,of the new ones,were going to thrive. So now that gives me only 3 tomato plants! I plan to give them some fertileizer before I head south today. Say a prayer and do a dance! The one big plant I have,Im excited about. Its called a Cherokee Tomato. Its flesh is purpley,and red. The little card that came in the small plant holder said that this particular strain is indegenous to TN,and first cultivated by Cherokee Indians. Maybe thats why its thriving. I dont know. All I do know is, I may only have 3 tomato plants worth a dern! But I wont let it get me down! Oh no! I will pick up 4 more plants,and pray I get enough tomato's to can some. Canned tomato's are something I pick up almost every grocery trip. They can be used in so many ways,esp for those like my family,who love them.

This may sound silly,but I dont care if it does. I'm very proud of our garden,thus far. The herbs are doing well. Well,the dill,cilantro,and basil are. Everything else got flooded. I intend to plant more parsley seeds,and maybe a sage and thyme plant. I can live without rosemary. But I love thyme. I've read that cilantro is persnickity to grow. I've had no trouble.

When I saw all the cucumber blooms and seedlings I had planted to have more,I thanked God then and there! HE knows we need our garden. My Dr. has been begging me to find something to DO,that relaxes me. SUggesting yoga,mediation,prayer. Well,I pray,but I have found pulling weeds super theraputic! And its a work out too. There are many weeds still in our garden patch,but Im proud of my family and the genuine effort we have put forth,thus far to help sustain us,and learn. I try to find soemthing to teach my kids,and myself every day. Well this has surely been and will be a learning experience! Plus,in the trying times around us,with the price of food rising,maybe this will help my little family along. And in learning how to garden,and grow things,I can in turn teach my kids how to self sustatin as well. We are all in a circle of life,so to speak. My foremothers HAD to garden to feed their families. I happen to GET to. Maybe they were giddy too over cucumber blooms!

Today I cooked something very traditional

Today,I put a 12lb turkey in the oven. Yes,I know its not Nov. but the turkey was onsale at Easter,and since its one of those cook a long time once,have many leftovers kind of item,I baked it today. My guys,husband and 2 sons, dont know it yet,but we're going ot be eating that turkey in various form all weekend. Tonight the big bird,really not that big,more like the size of a big ole hen, was roasted in the oven. I picked up some McCormick marinade season packs onsale this week. Since there is cilantro coming up very well in my new herb bed,that used to be a flower bed, I decided to go with a zippy kid of flavor theme for it. I mixed the Mojito/Lime marinade pack with some olive oil,a few extra dashes of salt,and a few splashes of cider vinegar.I snipped a handful of cilantro,and me and the bird went into business. I washed and dried him in the sink,then put him in my normal size roasting pan. I undid the breask skin,and slathered him up with the wet seasoning mix,on top of that,I added the fresh cilantro.Into his cavities,dont forget the neck, I chunked a vidalia onion,and some cilantro. I inverted him for the first hour of cooking. As the bird was finishing, I had to figure out quick what to fix with him.
hmmm, what goes good with turkey? Duh,Dressin. and NO,its NOT stuffing. i had a day old loaf of french bread from the bread rack at Kroger, opend up 2 boxes of cornbread stove top,and had my bread for dressing.
I pause to say that dressing is NOT intimidating. I've been the one for the past several years making it at my Memaws grand ThanksGiving dinner and no one has commented on how it does not taste like Sue's. The traditional way is with fresh and stale cornbread,homemade buiscuits,broth richly made from the innards of the turkey,herbs,and celery and onion.
Tonight that was not the case. I didnt have any cornbread,stale or otherwise on hand,nor did I have any buiscuits made from scratch. So I,like my foremothers,improvised! I heated some margerine,yes the dreaded M word,Im on a budget,so what can I say,I didnt use butter tonight. Oh well. I chopped up 3 stalks of celery,yes,organic,and yet another vidalia was chopped. I sweated my veggies. In the mean time,I started up some quick broth. I heated about 4 or 5 cups of water into which 2 large knorr chicken bullion cubes were added,some salt,and some poultry seasoning,and a dash of RUBBED,NEVER the other kind,of SAGE. I let it boil full on a few minutes,then turned it down,to give the illusion of depth. I got Josh to cut up the loaf of french bread,no,its not the least bit French.I added the cornbread crumbs into the bread,and gave it a shake. Then went in the broth. Whoops! I forgot to add the sage first. I thought I made a critical error.I added the sage,then the onions and celery that sweated very nicely in Granny's skillet. then went in the eggs,fresh from our friends KY farm! since the breads soaked up all the broth very fast,I added some milk to the eggs.shhh....don't tell my Memaw that! Into a 9x13 pan went the dressing.
I realized too late in the game I didn't have any cranberry sauce. So I opend up a jar of home canned apple butter,threw in a handful of frozen raspberries,a dollop of Nathan's brand spicy mustard,and a squirt of horseradish sauce. My kids loved it!
My family,my guys,as call them very much enjoyed my spin and twist on an otherwise borning kind of meat. turkey is one of my favorite meats b/c its so versitle,and cheap. Well,cheap at certian times of the year. I've been conciously watching more and more when certian items are onsale at steep discounts. Thanksgiving gets you turkey at .37c a lb. So this past year,I bought 3.and we zipped through them. Mainly b/c we like to have company. I wont say entertain,but Josh does at times break out the guitar. Anyway, You make cringe when a friend tells you we're having roast turkey for supper when you come over. That is,unless your friend is ME. Not to brag,but I can bake a bird,ANY bird. I think youre born having that ability.There are things I can't cook well,however,like bacon. Simple yes,easy for me,NO.I make it half raw on one end and burnt on the other.every time! So Josh brings home the bacon AND cooks it!
My Memaw is the one who taught me how to make dressing. I make mine like hers. My Mama's is great,but I like Memaws way better.{no offence Mom,and Maw,whom she learned from}. Im sure manya pan of onions and celery and oil of some sort has been cooked in my iron skillett,and tonight was no exception. What I highly doubt however,is that accompanying the dressing was a mojito lime turkey.

My own part of family history

On Sunday,May 15,2011 I was given a rich gift. No,its not money,or worth anything of value to anyone but me. My Stepmother and Memaw passed on an iron skillet that was my great grandmother,Granny's, to me. The skillet is round,black,and well seasoned with love,great care,and has been used to feed at least now 4 generations of my family. My Daddy had it when he passed away in December of 2010. My Memaw wanted me to have it,so I too could continue the almost 80 years of usage out of it,and someday,maybe,pass it along to my children,or a grandchild. Those days,I pray,are in the far future.
I asked my Memaw,{paternal grandmother} why me? I come from a huge clan of Aunts,Uncle's,and cousins of various degree's. She simply told me that my Granny loved to cook for her large family, She loves to cook for hers,Daddy loved to cook for his,and I love to cook for my own family. The families have changed in size,the world around this black hardend skillett has changed,but it has remained the same. A constant,if you will,in an ever changing and evloving socitey. The life my Granny had may seem very different than the one I do. But I dont think so. She married,had children,loved her children,grandchildren,greats like me,and beyond,until her death. Her world outside her kitchen was different than the one I see. But the fundamentals are the same. Love,nurture,creativity,and food. All that is a constant too. I love my family and feed them daily,just as she did,and the generations before me. I dont know where my Granny got this skillet or if it was her only one. But to me that does not matter. What matters is NOW,its MY turn to pass the love of a well seasoned life along to my own small family. Using the same method she did,and my Memaw,Dad and Mom,and now me,food. But its oh so much more than food,its life lessons that I hope to pass on to my kids,and lessons ,I've yet to learn.
This simple gift,this skillet has a story to tell,and I intend to write mine and maybe my Granny's and Memaw's as well. Time seasons people,and skitllets too. Im wondering what it will teach me. No,its not the only one I use either. My Memaw bought me a set at the local Fred's store that I have had to season and reseason my self. But this one,this rare find in a family of so many,can teach me things,and maybe my kids,if im willing to listen and learn.
I cant wait to see where it takes me.